Friday, July 10, 2009

The Great Wall


Konichiwa Daryl! All the way on top of the Great Wall are we? I never thought longboarding would get more ridiculous than ninja turtle sliding gloves, but you have truly put us in awe. How was the rest of your trip? I heard the weather is great, which you seem pretty unsure of with your Capri length Jnco shorts. If only we could see the dragon on the back pocket. I bet the Chinese loved to see another asshole American exploiting their heritage so you can wear shorts that look like you stole pants from a midget. And sick Rod Steward hair-cut, how many years ago did you sing “Am I sexy?” because I’m pretty sure the answer is clear you ugly uncoordinated piece of shit. At least you can prove that your balance is good, I mean, it would have to be if it was worth cutting your sleeves off for extra speed. Too bad no one has thrown a chopstick in front of your wheel while you were pulling that mach one heel-side turn. The only thing that could fix how horrible this picture is, is if it were in a sequence, and the next shot was a guard holding you at gunpoint and then selling you to a unlicensed meat processing factory in downtown Beijing. Fuck your birthday.

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